when we lost at quarter-finals last year, i was devastated. i was angry. mostly, i was mad at no one else but myself, for being so weak and incapable of making the team win. i tried to find things or people to put the blame on, but i found none. for days after that, i lived feeling like a huge hole was gnawing its way inside me, eating me all up. i figured, well since we've lost, i might as well quit debating. im no good. i couldnt even defeat an easy opponent. what was i? a loser?
but as the debate season passed, i finally gave up blaming myself. somehow, i managed to find a way to get tired of seeing myself as a failure. one day i decided that just because i failed once, this doesnt mean i'll fail over and over again. yes, this shouldve happened to other teams, not ours, but hating the adjs for their decision and thinking that we were better off winning hadnt it been for the audience will not change any of the results. we lost, that's simple. what's left to understand?
losing doesnt hurt. disappointment does. the girls and i learned that the hard way. but somewhere along the way you'll learn to cope. you'll learn to accept everything in advance, and be tough no matter what happens in the future. no, the loss didnt end the passion i have for debating, im proud to say it strengthened it.
and that's why i believe that these girls will be fine with what happened. i mean, they've already went straight up till quarter-finals, just like we did last year. heck, if ive gotten there, (i already did) it'd still be enough to be proud of even when i dont win. it just proves the fact that this year, again, we're a team that others should fear. hey, sticks and stones wont break your bones. this is just one debate competition. there's more to win later, girls. think of it as a chance for your to taste failure, ONCE. because you'll probably just find victory after this, like we did. regardless of the situation, i feel like you girls have already won. if you're nobody, you wont get as far as you are right now. so cheer up, be proud of yourself. there's nothing to be ashamed of.
i felt like i should cry, but strangely, i couldnt. because ive figured that this was not something worth my tears. and your girls should feel the same way too. of course you still can if you want to, but dont let grief overcome you till you cant get up and fight back. i'd like to advise you to just enjoy and lose yourself, hahaha but NO ALCOHOL CONSUMPTION, strictly.
all in all, dont be sad. you girls won my heart. aint that one heck of a prize already? :D
xoxoxoxo smiles,
pika
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