today's dubbed as my day- since it's just two days till ppm comes; i still cant believe that it's coming this fast. it's called the speaker-date day, and since im the second speaker and today's just 2 days till ppm, then it's considered as my day. yesterday's syakira's, tomorrow's gonna be adle's.
the last few day's gonna be spent brushing up our speeches. that's like the finishing touch for the upcoming championships--- that we're probably gonna win. haaa. wtv it is, im just hoping for the best for our team. to expect that everyone there gonna be a tough fight for us,, that's like too high of an expectation. but to think that everyone's just dirt under our feet, that's called impossible. better not to think anything.
2 more days to hope, then the rest will just be fighting. 2 more days till we'll be fighting in a battle we've been losing for 8 years already. 8 year's not considered nothing when you're someone in the debate arena. 8 years of not being heard- that's like hhhhhhh. not gonna use that word here. kak ngah's probably gonna read this and she'll be running off like a baby to go tell me off to mom.
anyways, there's just so little time left, i dont know what to feel. nervous- that's too cowardly. maybe expecting. hahah. i sound like a pregnant 30-year old nanny. pfft.
no one's gonna be there to support us,, except loyal alya, lynn and the rest of the teachers. i think that's fine, if there's really no way for us to convince other people. seems like we'll be off on our own- just like the old days.
the only reason im still doing this is because i still believe in myself. 2 years back, i was thinking of leaving the team because i thought that i was of no importance at all to them. 2 years back, the only thing i ever hope was for them to realize how badly i wanted to be noticed, and at least be given a chance to prove myself. 2 years back, i was thrashed because i was afraid to fend for myself. 2 years back, i was a loser. and i dont want the same thing to happen again. now that im approaching 17, and leaving the school in just a few months, it's going to be the last time for me to be called be a debater. after this, no more.
the last few day's gonna be spent brushing up our speeches. that's like the finishing touch for the upcoming championships--- that we're probably gonna win. haaa. wtv it is, im just hoping for the best for our team. to expect that everyone there gonna be a tough fight for us,, that's like too high of an expectation. but to think that everyone's just dirt under our feet, that's called impossible. better not to think anything.
2 more days to hope, then the rest will just be fighting. 2 more days till we'll be fighting in a battle we've been losing for 8 years already. 8 year's not considered nothing when you're someone in the debate arena. 8 years of not being heard- that's like hhhhhhh. not gonna use that word here. kak ngah's probably gonna read this and she'll be running off like a baby to go tell me off to mom.
anyways, there's just so little time left, i dont know what to feel. nervous- that's too cowardly. maybe expecting. hahah. i sound like a pregnant 30-year old nanny. pfft.
no one's gonna be there to support us,, except loyal alya, lynn and the rest of the teachers. i think that's fine, if there's really no way for us to convince other people. seems like we'll be off on our own- just like the old days.
the only reason im still doing this is because i still believe in myself. 2 years back, i was thinking of leaving the team because i thought that i was of no importance at all to them. 2 years back, the only thing i ever hope was for them to realize how badly i wanted to be noticed, and at least be given a chance to prove myself. 2 years back, i was thrashed because i was afraid to fend for myself. 2 years back, i was a loser. and i dont want the same thing to happen again. now that im approaching 17, and leaving the school in just a few months, it's going to be the last time for me to be called be a debater. after this, no more.
1 comment:
the best stf 2nd speaker after 8 years :)
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